The year that I didn’t fast Ramadan


When I didn’t fast Ramadan …
it wasn’t unusual to see a six or seve year old kid standing on a fasting check point, surrounded by the whole class, sticking his/her tongue out, ready for the fasting Virginity check, to make sure it is dried and its gray hymen cover not broken from drinking or eating

it wasn’t unusual to see a six or seven year old kid standing on a fasting check point, surrounded by the whole class, sticking his/her tongue out, ready for the fasting Virginity check, to make sure it is dried and its gray hymen cover not broken from drinking or eating

The Muslim holy month of Ramadan starts this Friday, the day fasting month will be observed by Millions of Muslims around the world, the number of hours that a Muslims have to fast will vary based on where they live, in the northern hemisphere like Denmark a whipping 22 hours fasting time, there will be some very angry Muslims over there, in the southern hemisphere, Argentina is the shortest, with only 10 hours. in America it is 17 hours in a heat that reaches more than 90 degrees. Something would make even Michelle Bachman to feel for Muslims. Muslims fast during the day and eat and during all night, the opposite of the American do. The worst thing about fasting, is not so much the not eating for 17 hours, it is not the drinking part; and no amount of evening food will prepare for that. Fasting Ramadan is one of Islam five pillars requirements; Faith of oneness and finality of the prophet, “Shahadah”, Hajj, Almsgiving “Zakah”, and daily praying are the other four. However fasting is the only pillar that is between you and god, if you are not eating or drinking in public, nobody could tell if you are fasting or not but god. Allah says “Fasting is Mine and it is I who give reward for it. [A man] gives up his sexual passion, his food and his drink for my sake” Most Muslims will observe fasting even if they aren’t keen to follow the other four pillars. This hot Ramadan some Muslims will find creative ways of avoiding fasting, like traveling (at least 80 miles on a Mule, nobody has tried this recently), bringing their old medical records to their doctors for permission to not fast, or just simply not fasting at all. Islam doesn’t required children to fast until reaching adolescence “l-Kharqi said:” When a child is ten years old and is able to fast, he should start to do so.” But fasting at earlier ages gives Muslim children some since of growing up, as smoking, kids want to emulate their older brothers and sisters. Some strict Muslims parents will demand of their youngsters to fast as soon as they can walk, I have seen a Somali girl as young as two wearing hijab, so it is not far fetish to assume that she will be soon tinkering with fasting. Forcing your kids to fast is not always virtual, and could be counterproductive; In the holy month of Ramadan kids find out for the first time that god doesn’t necessarily listen to their parents or their Imams, fasting is something between you and god, and if you don’t fast you aren’t going to be turned to a monkey or the devil will eat your food. In Ramadan as a young Muslim realize that god has a great sense of hummer, and Islam is a religion of mercy (Rahmah) and the intent of their action is more important than the action itself. Growing up in Egypt, as a youngster, my parents were relaxed about religion, my dad has a great contempt to zealous Imams, he lived by example and despised breaching, my dad raised eight children and the only thing he liked about Ramadan fasting is the not eating part, “be hungry be healthy” he always joked when ask for food. My mom didn’t care much as long as she was not an accomplice, so you don’t ask her for the food to break your fast. Cheating on fasting is not a piece of cake; it can be tricky in a country where everyone around is fasting, you have to be careful. In my village in Egypt, you can get by without fasting, until you start going to school for the first time; everyone watches you, there you cant eat or drink in front of anyone. Nobody believed me when claimed I was Christian; everyone knows the only one Christian student in the entire school, besides I was the son of “Alnazzer” the school principle. In Ramadan Kids will check to make sure that you are fasting and haven’t eating or drinking anything. “open your mouth, show me your tongue” they ask you every time they meat you at the hall, and at this juncture you only have no choice but to open your mouth. Nobody will read you the Miranda here. Kids actually took this very seriously, it wasn’t unusual to see a six or seven year old kid standing on the fasting check point, surrounded by the whole class, sticking his tong out, ready for fasting virginity check, and to make sure that its gray hymen is dried and not broken from drinking or eating. Kids if they suspect fasting violation, they bring their noses as close as possible to your face and smell your mouth to make sure that you have the blessing of a bad breath. “During Ramadan, some people experience bad breath as the salivary glands do not produce enough saliva to keep the breath fresh.,” said Dr Rana Al Thib, General Dentist at Hibah Shata Specialized Dental Clinic, Dubai Healthcare City. Muslims usually understand and tolerate bad breath in Ramadan, they believe that it has its reward from god. As the prophet says “The change in the breath of the mouth of him who fasts is better in Allah’s estimation than the smell of musk. “ Americans may tolerate badmouthing, but wont tolerate bad breath, and no amount of culture diversity training is going to change that, American spend millions of dollars every year to get ready of their bad breath. At the school, the bathroom was my best place for premature fast breaking, no one will ask you what you are doing in a bathroom, they have been there before, but it is a great place for multitasking. When you aren’t fasting, as a youngster you feel you are out of place, and it seemed that people will spot you from miles, it is also hard for you to join in the fun , the magnificent seen of the sun sets on the horizon, the anticipation of ‘Azzan” the call for “Maghrab” to break your fast, the food preparation, the sizzling smell of your favorite Ramadan dishes, the communal eating at the table, the chat, the sense of accomplishment, and everyday at that moment I always regretted that I didn’t fast tat day.
Good luck and Ramadan Kareem!
Ahmed Tharwat/ MInensota
Host & Producer of Arab American TV, BelAhdan
Freelancer writer, Public Speaker
July 19, 2012

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The Salafy Bunch… meet my family

 

 

This particular family reception was surreal:  the mood was celebratory but cautious; everyone was there, all my brothers with their very long beards; the nieces in their hijab, which they take off once they get home. (Wearing hijab is complicated.  It has its religious and social rules. If I’m the only visitor in the room, they can leave them off, and they do. It just depends on who comes in the room if the hijab will be on or off: if he is a brother, his sisters can leave their hijab off, but other nieces have to put them on. If someone comes to the door, the person who opens the door announces to everyone who is coming so the right person is ready with her hijab. Sometimes it happens so fast, people are coming and going, then it gets confusing, who should have hijab on or who can have it off, and if you can’t find your own hijab, then quickly grab one from a non-hijab compliant girl; then everyone starts giggling.) 

As a group, my brothers who live in Egypt are on the conservative side.  I will introduce them to you here in order from youngest to oldest.  Abdel Nasser, the youngest, was a military man until he became more interested in growing his beard than his career. He was let go with an early retirement.  Now he is, naturally, the most disciplined about his religion.  As a military man, he understands the maneuvering of the military in running the country. “Tantawi is the most cunning, confusing, military man I know; I served under him,” he vented.  “He could get the whole country lost in a flinch.” Then he added, “He is the dirtiest man I have ever seen.” Next, Refaat, the second-to-youngest, is the most dedicated one. As a youth, he was the funniest most lovable kid in our village.  Now he is an executive of a big construction company.  In the aftermath of Sadat’s assassination, in the first year of Mubarak’s presidency, he had the bad fortune of being arrested, tortured and jailed for 13 months, then let go without any trial or an apology. After his release, and for 30 years, he has had to go to the National Security office on the first Tuesday of each month to make sure he is still broken and tamed.  I asked him about the revolution and the changes that had occurred for him personally.  He replied, “For the first time in 30 years, I’m not afraid. I can walk, go anywhere without fearing being humiliated or arrested by the security police,” he softly said without any bitterness.  Abdel Raffaa, who everyone calls Sheik Obed, he is the conscience of the family. He is loved by everyone, and he is the closest to me in age, just a year older. When he was about six years old, he fell off the roof of our house and landed on his head, I rushed to see him and I saw a big cut in his forehead. I thought I could almost see his brain oozing out.  Something happened to him that day; he never was able to tell a lie after that. You can always count on him to tell it like it is, which sometimes gets him into trouble. His religion is very deep but balanced.  He doesn’t quote from the Hadith or Quran as much as the other brothers.  “The youth of this country are the noblest people of Egypt,” he explained, “they are men and did what our generation couldn’t do,” he explained.

Then there is Hosam, the one who terrorized the village growing up, and who now has the longest beard of the Salafy bunch. His views go straight down the party line. “We need religion to guide our lives and our country,” he always says.

Emad is known as the Omdah (the mayor).  His Islam is a quiet one, a moderate Salafy. “God helps Egypt to make the right choice”, he explains.  He has always been the comfort seeker in the family, and his religious view is no different.

Finally, my only sister, who also, I might add, is the most successful member of the family career-wise; she was the VP of a big investment bank before she retired a few years ago. Her husband was a military man, who was captured in the 1967 war and held as a prisoner of war for a year or so. She is also very religious, going to a religious academy for Qur’an studies. She insisted I help her prep for her exams, which requires memorizing long passages of the Qur’an. I stayed in her house during my visit, so we talked a lot. She has a great sense of humor when she is alone. She treated me like her own son: the breakfast was always on time and laid out on the table; my clothes were always clean, and my bed was always made.  She is on the side of military and stability, and makes no apology about it. “If it wasn’t for the military, there wouldn’t be any revolution” she told me. “The youth of the revolution are a bunch of boys, and know nothing about running a country like Egypt,” she explained. Her son, Essam, an open “felool”, those who benefited during the Mubarak era, don’t accept this change easily.  He is married with two kids, works for a multinational corporation out of Dubai, drives a top model BMW, and lives his life to the fullest. “People need just to go to work, and stop blaming the military for everything,” he said under his voice with a smile.

My brothers’ children are still religious, but also supporters of the youth revolution. It doesn’t take much before the family conversation get contested and edgy. I have never seen my family talking politics with such fervor! The political conversation breaks the tradition family bounds, the old alliance has shifted, the brothers are ganging up on their only sister, but she doesn’t budge. “We need to get some sleep before we head to Tahrir Square,” said my nephew Mohamed. Now it is three in the morning. The call for prayers would start soon, said my niece Mariam with a smile. In Cairo, mosques are everywhere; all you need is a megaphone and a sidewalk, and you’ve got yourself a local mosque. Mosques were the only place in Egypt that the regime of the ex-dictator, Mubarak, could not penetrate or control. Before I left Egypt more than 30 years ago, I only heard the “Azan” call for prayer maybe once a week, for Friday prayers. Now it seems they call for prayer every few hours. My brothers got up to go to the fajr (dawn) prayer. They are the Salafy Bunch, as I call them. Each wears a robe, and a very long beard, keeping up with the beard generation, which dominated Egypt lately. In fact, beards were the only thing allowed to grow during the Mubarak regime.

 

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