The Salafy Bunch… meet my family

 

 

This particular family reception was surreal:  the mood was celebratory but cautious; everyone was there, all my brothers with their very long beards; the nieces in their hijab, which they take off once they get home. (Wearing hijab is complicated.  It has its religious and social rules. If I’m the only visitor in the room, they can leave them off, and they do. It just depends on who comes in the room if the hijab will be on or off: if he is a brother, his sisters can leave their hijab off, but other nieces have to put them on. If someone comes to the door, the person who opens the door announces to everyone who is coming so the right person is ready with her hijab. Sometimes it happens so fast, people are coming and going, then it gets confusing, who should have hijab on or who can have it off, and if you can’t find your own hijab, then quickly grab one from a non-hijab compliant girl; then everyone starts giggling.) 

As a group, my brothers who live in Egypt are on the conservative side.  I will introduce them to you here in order from youngest to oldest.  Abdel Nasser, the youngest, was a military man until he became more interested in growing his beard than his career. He was let go with an early retirement.  Now he is, naturally, the most disciplined about his religion.  As a military man, he understands the maneuvering of the military in running the country. “Tantawi is the most cunning, confusing, military man I know; I served under him,” he vented.  “He could get the whole country lost in a flinch.” Then he added, “He is the dirtiest man I have ever seen.” Next, Refaat, the second-to-youngest, is the most dedicated one. As a youth, he was the funniest most lovable kid in our village.  Now he is an executive of a big construction company.  In the aftermath of Sadat’s assassination, in the first year of Mubarak’s presidency, he had the bad fortune of being arrested, tortured and jailed for 13 months, then let go without any trial or an apology. After his release, and for 30 years, he has had to go to the National Security office on the first Tuesday of each month to make sure he is still broken and tamed.  I asked him about the revolution and the changes that had occurred for him personally.  He replied, “For the first time in 30 years, I’m not afraid. I can walk, go anywhere without fearing being humiliated or arrested by the security police,” he softly said without any bitterness.  Abdel Raffaa, who everyone calls Sheik Obed, he is the conscience of the family. He is loved by everyone, and he is the closest to me in age, just a year older. When he was about six years old, he fell off the roof of our house and landed on his head, I rushed to see him and I saw a big cut in his forehead. I thought I could almost see his brain oozing out.  Something happened to him that day; he never was able to tell a lie after that. You can always count on him to tell it like it is, which sometimes gets him into trouble. His religion is very deep but balanced.  He doesn’t quote from the Hadith or Quran as much as the other brothers.  “The youth of this country are the noblest people of Egypt,” he explained, “they are men and did what our generation couldn’t do,” he explained.

Then there is Hosam, the one who terrorized the village growing up, and who now has the longest beard of the Salafy bunch. His views go straight down the party line. “We need religion to guide our lives and our country,” he always says.

Emad is known as the Omdah (the mayor).  His Islam is a quiet one, a moderate Salafy. “God helps Egypt to make the right choice”, he explains.  He has always been the comfort seeker in the family, and his religious view is no different.

Finally, my only sister, who also, I might add, is the most successful member of the family career-wise; she was the VP of a big investment bank before she retired a few years ago. Her husband was a military man, who was captured in the 1967 war and held as a prisoner of war for a year or so. She is also very religious, going to a religious academy for Qur’an studies. She insisted I help her prep for her exams, which requires memorizing long passages of the Qur’an. I stayed in her house during my visit, so we talked a lot. She has a great sense of humor when she is alone. She treated me like her own son: the breakfast was always on time and laid out on the table; my clothes were always clean, and my bed was always made.  She is on the side of military and stability, and makes no apology about it. “If it wasn’t for the military, there wouldn’t be any revolution” she told me. “The youth of the revolution are a bunch of boys, and know nothing about running a country like Egypt,” she explained. Her son, Essam, an open “felool”, those who benefited during the Mubarak era, don’t accept this change easily.  He is married with two kids, works for a multinational corporation out of Dubai, drives a top model BMW, and lives his life to the fullest. “People need just to go to work, and stop blaming the military for everything,” he said under his voice with a smile.

My brothers’ children are still religious, but also supporters of the youth revolution. It doesn’t take much before the family conversation get contested and edgy. I have never seen my family talking politics with such fervor! The political conversation breaks the tradition family bounds, the old alliance has shifted, the brothers are ganging up on their only sister, but she doesn’t budge. “We need to get some sleep before we head to Tahrir Square,” said my nephew Mohamed. Now it is three in the morning. The call for prayers would start soon, said my niece Mariam with a smile. In Cairo, mosques are everywhere; all you need is a megaphone and a sidewalk, and you’ve got yourself a local mosque. Mosques were the only place in Egypt that the regime of the ex-dictator, Mubarak, could not penetrate or control. Before I left Egypt more than 30 years ago, I only heard the “Azan” call for prayer maybe once a week, for Friday prayers. Now it seems they call for prayer every few hours. My brothers got up to go to the fajr (dawn) prayer. They are the Salafy Bunch, as I call them. Each wears a robe, and a very long beard, keeping up with the beard generation, which dominated Egypt lately. In fact, beards were the only thing allowed to grow during the Mubarak regime.

 

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MY FATHER WAS AN AVERAGE MAN, WITH A BRILLIANT MIND!

My dad was a small petite man, with an enormous nose and sharp piercing small eyes; he wasn’t a heavy-handed, intimidating father figure. However, he believed that to survive raising a large family of 10 on $7 monthly salary, you needed to be vigilant in reconstructing our family values.
First, to put our house in order, he gave us character-based nicknames; our original Arabic names had been either those of a prophet or a servant of God, Muhammed, Ahmed, Abdelraffe, Aabdellnasser, Abdelaal, etc… didn’t reflect who we really are, so I became the Sursarah, the small cockroach; my mom was Walad, one of the boys; the skinny one was Feseekhah, dried fish; the enigmatic one was Brovdaah (I still have no idea what it means); the oldest was Abul-ossi, the father of sticks; then, the comfort-seeker was Oomdah, the mayor; the youngest was Hando’ah, the cutie; and my only sister was Al-arousah, the beautiful bride.
He wasn’t a religious, zealous man; he was what you could call a moral relativist. He would quietly pray the mandatory five daily prayers without lecturing us. He would tell us biblical stories to spread his moral ploys; each story would have a disguise message made to shape our outlook on life. The prophet said: to sleep hungry is to be merry, he would say when one asked for late meal. “The Hebrew people got lost in Sinai for 40 years, you know” he reminds us when we drifted to our ways, and if you don’t listen to his advise he would say “Well suite yourself but remember; Noah’s son didn’t make it ” .
He was a frugal man; to my dad, consumption was an evil state of depletion. Nothing terrified him more than one of us breaking into the kitchen to snack before mealtime. It was a violation of house golden rules. He even developed a home security sound-code alert system reflecting the level of threat to any domestic consumption around the house. Regardless of where he was, he managed to monitor and sense what was going on in our kitchen even in his sleep. Clearing his throat was a special warning alarm to alert us to his level of annoyance. He would clear his throat once if you broke into the kitchen, twice, for opening the refrigerator, and three “ahems” meant don’t touch that cold watermelon.
A conservationist before it became fashionable; He would walk around the house turning off radios, stoves, electricity and shut windows— as his daily mission to defeat ominous waste.
Reusing old stuff around the house for him was a divine resurrection ritual. Eating questionable leftover food was his small triumph over the tyrant of the decaying process. Sending the mail in used envelopes was his personal signature, reusing old batteries even for just a few minutes was magical, and for him, nothing was ever too precious for him to be wrapped in scraps of old newspaper.
My dad was an average man who never wanted to be a hero, he passed away a few years back and finally is resting in a divine place where there isn’t much to do or to say— the way he always wanted, god bless you dad.

Ahmed Tharwat/ Public Speaker
Producer/Host of the Arab American TV Show Belahdan
Minnetonka, MN
Blog at: ahmediatv.com

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My dad was an average man..!!

BelAhdan LOGO arabic

The American people have seen enough Muslims behaving badly all over the world; Saddam, Gaddafi, Assad, Ossam, Hezbollah, Zarqawi, Nidal and with the American administration illusive war on terrorism crusade; this list gets longer by the day. American people in a dire need for a reasonable Muslim, a man who taught me everything I needed to know about life, without ever sitting down and talking with me about life; Please meet my dad. My dad was a small petite man, with a big nose and sharp piercing small eyes; he wasn’t a heavy-handed, intimidating father figure. However, he believed that to survive raising a large family of 10 on $7 monthly salary, you needed to be vigilant in reconstructing our family values.
First, to put our house in order, he gave us character-based nicknames; our original Arabic names had been either those of a prophet or a servant of God, Muhammed, Ahmed, Abdelraffe, Aabdellnasser, Abdelaal, etc… didn’t reflect who we really are, so I became the Sursarah, the small cockroach; my mom was Walad, one of the boys; the skinny one was Feseekhah, dried fish; the enigmatic one was Brovdaah (I still have no idea what it means); the oldest was Abul-ossi, the father of sticks; then, the comfort-seeker was Oomdah, the mayor; the youngest was Hando’ah, the cutie; and my only sister was Al-arousah, the beautiful bride.
He wasn’t a religious zealous man; he was what you could call a moral relativist. He would quietly pray the mandatory five daily prayers without lecturing us. He would tell us biblical stories to spread his moral ploys; each story would have a disguise message made to shape our outlook on life. The prophet said: to sleep hungry is to be merry, he would say when one asked for late meal. “The Hebrew people got lost in Sinai for 40 years, you know” he reminds us when we drifted to our ways, and if you don’t listen to his advise he would say “Well suite yourself but remember; Noah’s son didn’t make it ” .
He was a frugal man; to my dad, consumption was an evil state of depletion. Nothing terrified him more than one of us breaking into the kitchen to snack before mealtime. It was a violation of house golden rules. He even developed a home security sound-code alert system reflecting the level of threat to any domestic consumption around the house. Regardless of where he was, he managed to monitor and sense what was going on in our kitchen even in his sleep. Clearing his throat was a special warning alarm to alert us to his level of annoyance. He would clear his throat once if you broke into the kitchen, twice, for opening the refrigerator, and three “ahems” meant don’t touch that cold watermelon.
A conservationist before it became fashionable; He would walk around the house turning off radios, stoves, electricity and shut windows— as his daily mission to defeat ominous waste.
Reusing old stuff around the house for him was a divine resurrection ritual. Eating questionable leftover food was his small triumph over the tyrant of the decaying process. Sending the mail in used envelopes was his personal signature, reusing old batteries even for just a few minutes was magical, and for him, nothing was ever too precious for him to be wrapped in scraps of old newspaper.
My dad was an average man who never wanted to be a hero, he passed away a few years back and finally is resting in a divine place where there isn’t much to do or to say— the way he always wanted, god bless you dad.

Ahmed Tharwat/ Public Speaker
Producer/Host of the Arab American TV Show Belahdan
Minnetonka, MN
Blog at: ahmediatv.com

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