Every time I stop by the segregated Moslems cemetery in southwest metro area I remember a story of my hometown in Egypt, a small, unassuming village in the Egyptian Nile delta. Many people’s lifestyles hadn’t changed that much since the time of the pharaohs, and local demographers have not issued their census report ever since the farmers found a better use for the counting beans.
Before CNN and Al Jazeera, villagers lived the simple life of a farming community, and their interest in the outside world went only as far as the edge of their cornfields. People seemed to consult the same fashion designer, go to the same mosque to pray, eat the same food, celebrate the same holidays, and for generations, villagers kept the gene pool very much confined to the area’s families.
However, there was something un-provincial about my village. Unlike most of villages around us, we had one Christian family living among us. They lived in the outskirts of the village near the cemetery, a place villagers would visit only when there was a divine call.
The Christian family’s peculiar lifestyle was intriguing to me; in fact, it was a breath of fresh air to invigorate the monotonous village life. They seemed friendlier than most, and they flashed a smile to anyone who cared to make eye contact.
Unlike other villagers, who worked on the farm, the Christian family was still in the hunting-and-gathering age. They made their living chasing wild wolves lurking on the outskirts of the village during a time when wolves were considered a dangerous species. The Christian father would disappear into the remote cornfields for days and suddenly reappear with his kill. The family then would drag the dead wolf around the village for show-and-tell, describing the grave danger they had just faced and the heroic adventure they had encountered, which earned them considerable admiration from villagers and a handsome handout of rice, corn or whatever the season offered at the time.
The students in the Christian family weren’t required to attend the daily religious class at the public school like the rest of us, who had to endure the daily dull regimen of the overbearing religion teacher.
It was customary for the teacher to call on “Sameer Kariakoos,” the only Christian student in my class, to leave the room. He left under the watchful eyes of all the Muslim students, looking on with a mix of envy and sarcasm. He freely
Years went by, and since Egyptian Christians had the same life expectancy as Muslims, the father suddenly died. The family was not prepared for this eternal fate, and neither was the rest of the village. Although the cultural tradition of the Muslim villagers accommodated the Christian family while they were alive, the religious burial traditions were not flexible enough to accommodate the mixing of their dead in the same cemetery. The Christian family wanted to bury their father in the village among his Moslems friends and not venture away to a segregated Christian cemetery, as most of them do across Egypt.
There was some reluctance and hesitation from the village leaders. Islam prohibits mixing the dead in the mausoleum. I guess they were afraid that the Christians might eavesdrop on the dead Muslims’ conversations with God.
My family were not known for their religious zealotry, but for their kindness and generosity. The family logic was that if the Christian family had lived in peace with the rest of us all these years without any trouble, there definitely wouldn’t be much trouble while they were dead.
My family consulted no one in the village. As we had welcomed the Christian family alive, so we welcomed them among our dead. The burial ceremony was completed with a grave, like all Muslim graves, that lacked religious symbols or eulogy — just a Christian family name, “Kariakoos,” and dates: “Born in 1911 and died 1962.”
All those years, in my village, Muslims and Christians had lived together and died together in peace and harmony. As my brother put it, “No diversity programs were required, no axis of evil was declared, and no crusade or jihad was launched.”
My brother asked me in a reflective voice “Please relate this story to your friends in America.”
I just did.
Ahmed Tharwat is host of the Arab-American show “Belahdan,” which airs Sundays at 10:30 p.m. on Twin Cities Public Television (Ch. 17).
©2007 Star Tribune. All rights reserved.
Author: AhMedia
The power of cheese
Arab Americans in tough times would seek comfort and refuge in the warmness of their ethnic foods. As their nomad ancestors had done for hundreds of years before them; carrying their food wherever they go would save them from the harsh inhospitable desert terrain. Uh… the frying sizzling of falafel, the richness aroma of shaworma (Gyro), the tanning smoothness of BABA GHANNOU and Hummus, the beauty of artfully display of meza and the heavy sweetness of Baklava all take us back to the comfort and security of our home. But no other Middle Eastern food reflects our ethnicity and identity as feta cheese; we have as many different kind of feta cheese as nationalities; Egyptian, Greek, Lebanese, Moroccan, and Palestinian and we try them all. So if you want to measure the Arab American melting pot index in the US, don’t look at the employment or housing index, you should look at the consumption of feta index and it ratio to the consumption of American cheese. Americans seems to treat cheese as dead food that is wrapped in plastic bags and kept in the refrigerator like corpses. Arabs treat cheese like fresh meat that should be cut before your eyes and kept in the open for everyone to see and smell. Second generation Arab American children; however, lose this reverence right after their first trip to MacDonald’s restaurant and experience the taste of the melted cheese in their happy meal. Early on, feta cheese proudly accepted its prominent culinary status in our house. Every morning at breakfast table I prepare for my daughter the Egyptian breakfast trio, feta cheese, pita bread and black olives. My daughter had enjoyed eating it as much as listening to my Egyptian boy stories. “Tell me a story when you are little boy” she always asked me playfully. Now I have to quietly sneak my feta in her breakfast sandwich under the cover American cheese, which is perfectly fine with me. I understand her feelings. When I was a youngster growing up in an Egyptian village in the 60’s, our school used to get American aid in the form of a big block of wrapped cheese. I was so fascinated when for the first time I experienced cheese that was different in test and color, not to mention its beautiful glossy plastic wraps. Under protest from my resentful parents, I deserted my ethnic feta cheese and in its place I demanded the colorful American cheese which was as flashy as America movies. Rejecting your native feta is like rejecting your identity; here went the villager’s attitude.My wife and I are now very careful about bringing this ethnic culinary warfare to our family breakfast table. To reinforce our daughter’s ethnicity and multicultural heritage; American cheese and feta cheese will peacefully coexist on our breakfast table along with the cereals. However, lately and in the mist of post 9/11 and the war on Iraq headlines, the situation at our household has gotten a little edgy and our homeland security alarm system could reach color red in a hurry. Then one cheese will be ethnically cleansed from our breakfast table, “It smells bad and too sheepish,” my wife has started protesting loudly, declaring this chemical warfare and humiliating my beloved feta would trigger my defense sequence and the American cheese would become the infidel’s cheese. My daughter who never was interested in this type of table manner, would quietly walk away with her cereal, to the basement, better known now in our household as the bunker.Ahmed Tharwat 12/20/04 Multicultural Marketing Consultant
Big Fat American Wedding
I WAS INVITED TO AN ARAB AMERICAN WEDDING LAST WEEK.THE CEREMONY TOOK PLACE AT A SMALL TOWN OF LESS THAN 3000 PEOPLE IN WESTERN MINNESOTA. I DROVE FOR MORE THAN THREE HOURS ON A SINGLE LANE HIGHWAY, LISTENING TO THE ARAB DIVA UM KALTHUM SINGING, “LOVE IS THE POLLINATION OF JASMINE FLOWER OVER THE WORLD OF LOVERS HEARTS”. HER MAGICAL STRONG VOICE QUICKLY SPREAD OVER THE ENDLESS LANDSCAPE OF BEAN AND CORN FIELDS, MIXING ARAB PASSION WITH THE GENEROSITY OF AMERICAN FARMLAND. I HAVE ALWAYS HOPED THAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WOULD BE AS GENEROUS AS THEIR LAND. I FINALLY ARRIVED AT THE TOWN WHERE THE WEDDING WAS TAKING PLACE…BUT WHERE IS EVERYONE? THE STREETS ARE EMPTY. I WONDERED, ARE THEY IN A STATE OF TERRORIST HEIGHTENED ALERT?I KEPT ON DRIVING ON A DUSTY ROAD UNTIL I FOUND WHAT SEEMED TO BE A COUNTY FAIR, WITH LOTS OF CHEVY AND FORD CARS AND PICK-UPS SURROUNDING A BIG TENT NEXT TO AN OLD FARM HOUSE. IT WAS OBVIOUS MOST OF THE TOWN’S POPULATION WAS HERE. HUNDREDS OF FOLKS WERE DRINKING, EATING AND DANCING INSIDE THE BIG TENT HAVING A GREAT TIME. I HAD NEVER SEEN SO MANY NON-MUSLIMS AT A MUSLIM WEDDING BEFORE. THIS WAS THE BIG FAT AMERICAN WEDDING IN REVERSE. I WAS OUTNUMBERED, AND OUT OF MY HOME SECURITY COMFORT ZONE. I DESPERATELY HOPED MY FELLOW WEDDING GUESTS DIDN’T RELY HEAVILY ON FOX CABLE NEWS FOR THEIR DAILY FIX. OR THINK THAT I MADE IT TO THIS WEDDING BECAUSE OF AN AFFIRMATIVE ACTION OR A GOVERNMENT DIVERSITY PROGRAM.ACTUALLY, I WAS INVITED TO BE THE M-C OF THE WEDDING RECEPTION BY MY FRIEND, THE EGYPTIAN-AMERICAN GROOM. THE WEDDING CEREMONY WAS SHORT AND SWEET, DEVOID OF ANY EXCESSIVE RELIGIOUS OVER TONE. WE ALL SAT INSIDE THE TENT CELEBRATING THE HAPPY OCCASION; NEXT TO A TABLE WHERE A FEW ARAB GUESTS WERE SEATED, AN OLD COUPLE SEEMED TO BE UNCONCERNED THAT AN ARAB GUEST MAY STAND AND START SHOOTING IN THE AIR, AS ARABS CUSTOMARY DO IN THEIR WEDDINGS. SITTING NOT TOO FAR DISTANT THE GROOM’S MOTHER WHO TRAVELED 10,000 MILES TO ATTEND HER SON’S WEDDING; SHE WAS AWFULLY QUIET FOR A MOTHER OF THE GROOM. SHE DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH AND THE BRIDE’S PARENTS DON’T SPEAK ARABIC -PERHAPS, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, A BRILLIANT ARRANGEMENT FOR A LONG HEALTHY MARRIAGE. AS THE NEWLYWED COUPLE WAS CUTTING THE CAKE, I WONDERED FOR A BRIEF MOMENT; WHY WOULD A YOUNG AMERICAN WOMAN RISK MARRYING AN ARAB AMERICAN NOWADAYS? HASN’T SHE BEEN ALARMED ENOUGH? AS I WAS DEEP IN MY THOUGHTS THE NEWLYWEDS KISSED AND HUGGED AT THE DELIGHT OF THE CHEERING CROWD. I HAD A GREAT TIME – EVERYONE DID, THE DIVINE POWER OF ALCOHOL OVERCAME ANY POTENTIAL OF UNWARRANTED HOSTILITY. I FINALLY STOOD UP AND ADDRESSED THE EAGER CROWD WHICH WAS CORDIAL AND IN A GREAT MOOD. AFTER THANKING EVERYONE FOR ADOPTING MY FRIEND TO THEIR VILLAGE; I REMINDED THEM THAT IT TAKES A WHOLE VILLAGE TO RAISE A GOOD ARAB. Ahmed 9/2004
Producer/Host of the Arab American TV Show BelahdanMinnetonka, MN